I preface this story with what I look like today. My hair is hot pink, baby pink, and blue, pulled up in a sloppy, messy bun. I'm wearing Levi's, a sleeveless hoody with monster fur around the hood and zombie pin-up chick art on the back and there's is a monster chick on my skinny Mary Jane's. For those of you who don't know what I look like, my full sleeves (tattooed arms) are showing, and I never cover the words on my knuckles or the brass knuckles tattooed on the top of my hand. I don't care where you live, there are always people who are going to draw negative conclusions about someone who looks like me, and a lot of people aren't even sort of concerned with disguising their stares, disapproval and ignorance.
I am flying to Boston today. In fact, in 6 minutes I will be over Detroit. Pretty rad! Traveling east for me usually means: Omaha or Dallas, and I've only been further east from that to Minneapolis and Miami. But I digress...
I have had disgustingly horrific experiences as a disabled woman traveling in the past. I boycott most airlines I've flown in the past because of the way I've been treated by the staff. I'm in a good mood today so I'd rather not relive those devastating moments. I am going to write about the bullshit I dealt with earlier because it has a nice conclusion, unlike most of the others.
When I travel by air, I request a wheelchair when I purchase my ticket and have to also ask upon check-in for wheelchair assistance to the gate and also at my arrival gate. The problem isn't that I can't walk, it's that I can't walk long distances without ending up in pain or breathless (remember, my vocal cords are paralyzed partially closed, meaning that I can't release CO2 like normal, so it's kind of like sucking on an exhaust pipe).
Like any other day at the airport, I checked in, asked for a wheelchair, got my boarding pass and went to the wheelchair stand. The chick that pushed me to the gate was rad -- super nice, helped with whatever I needed her to, got my pre-board pass at the gate, and stood in line to get me diet coke. Then I got to the gate.
My pusher told the woman at the gate when we pulled up that I was a pre-board and not to forget me. Then they both disappeared. People were lined up to board, everyone was off the plane that needed to be, and suddenly, another gate attendant- I'll call her Ignorant- was walking around, grabbing people with (baby blue) pre-board passes and having them board. I got up from the wheelchair to ask if she was pre-boarding and she basically told me no. Again, I travel frequently and always fly SW. I have never, ever seen the gate attendant walk around and pick the people she was going to let board.... pre-boarding is called, on the intercom, like this: "Anyone with a pre-board pass- those who need help or more time getting seated or traveling with small children, anyone with a blue pre-board pass may board now, and then we'll start boarding all A tickets." I watched her hand pick several pre-boarders, about 7-8, then she called for pre-boards. When I just handed her my ticket and pre-board she tried defending herself by saying: "I boarded all wheelchairs first." I said, "FYI I was in a wheelchair, too."
Bad enough? Yes, but not over yet!
I stepped onto the plane, as I always do, and ask the flight attendant for assistance with my carry-on because I can't lift over my head. She tells me I should have checked it, and for future travel I needed to check anything I couldn't fit under the seat. I told her that no one had EVER told me that before, and that a flight attendant from another airline had JUST told me on the train to not be shy to ask for anything I needed from flight staff. She said she'd help, followed me to the seat and then said, "You can help me, right?" I said, plugging my trach, "NO! I have a hole in my throat and 15 screws in my neck, I told you I can't life over my head!" She huffed and lifted my 10 lbs. suitcase into the overhead compartment. Walking away, she said, you don't have to explain everything. I said, "No, I don't, or shouldn't have to, but people like you won't help me unless I explain my disabilities to them, so yes, I do have to explain, even though I have confidentiality agreements with all my doctors. People like you make me give full disclosure."
I immediately called my husband and told him the story, I was so fucking pissed I almost thru a temper tantrum..... the girl that took the aisle seat in my row said, I'm sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping, but I'm really sorry you had to deal with that, I'm a physical therapist and it's just bullshit to hear you get treated that way. She explained that she advocated for people who can't speak for themselves, and how sad she thought it was that I had to explain myself, I should be able to say, I'm disabled without going into detail. Naturally, we began speaking (I mean, I go to physical therapy 3 times a week) and I ended up telling her more detailed accounts of medical problems, etc.
Ok, so both these women were complete bitches. But, the flight attendant, she decided to be human.... she approached me at me seat (little privacy), and apologized repeatedly, almost in tears and caressing my hand. She said that they are told to offer assistance but not life for the guest, but that she was so sorry. And she was genuine, shaking voice and watery eyes and all. Then, she "bought" my Bloody Mary for me.
She also told me that she "set the other girl straight," and that next time I should stay in the wheelchair.
So, I'm glad that someone learned an important social lesson about judging others today. Maybe just one other person will be treated better by her, but even one makes a difference. I told her, during her apology, about the woman at the gate and she said something about the situation, don't assume someone can do everything you think they should just because they look like they can..... it's just WRONG to accuse someone of acting like they need help..... do you realize how many people, especially bull-headed, stubborn people, have a hard or impossible time asking for help? then to be treated like a dick for asking? It SUCKS!!!!!!
We all have bad days, but come on! I at least don't make a comment until someone else is mean. Isn't just easier to help someone, rather than make snide comments, putting all that bad juju out into the universe, only to come right back to you? Think, next time you start to comment about someone parking in a handicapped spot that looks 'normal,' .... the hole in my throat looks like a choker and all the screws in my neck are just that, IN my neck. I wish people could just treat each other like fellow human beings.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:somewhere between Denver and Boston
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